Thursday, October 28, 2010

Bears Repeating

A story from Russia that might bear repeating;
The bears there are starving—no food to be eating—
Since bears are resourceful, seems every so often
They’ll head to a graveyard and dig up a coffin!
You’ll visit the grave of some newly deceased,
Just to find that some hungry, enormous old beast
Has decided your uncle would make quite a feast!

It’s a serious matter—with no roast to carve,
And no berries to eat, why, the bears may all starve!
It’s a sad thing, as well, for the friends of the corpse,
But around Halloween, see, my funny-bone warps
And I can’t blame the bears for the way they behave
Nor the family or friends as they rant and they rave
Cos for bears and for humans, the scene is quite grave!

More mourners, it seems, may be caught unawares
Cos a trick to find food will spread fast among bears—
How the hole should be dug, and the top should be pried,
Exposing the soft, chewy morsel inside—
As for me, should I die while the bears are unfed,
(and assuming I really and truly am dead)
Since I’m through with my body for good—go ahead!

5 comments:

Jim Campbell said...

Hee hee! There was a guy in India, I believe* who had his body left out to feed hungry wild tigers. Nice touch.

*Although it might just be possible that this is an internet myth.

Lab Boy said...

I've been rather enamored with the concept of Sky Burial since I saw it. Like our cephalopodian host, I rather like the idea of letting my meat feed continuing life.

Lab Boy said...

Now that I read the story, I would much rather let the bears have my corpse than let them have all the precious mushrooms.

Mmmm... Mushrooms...
(drool)

Unknown said...

Yeah, I'd like for my body to be completely recycled. Any useful organs should go to fellow humans, but all that meat can be made into food for critters since I'm sure people would be squicked out by eating it. The bones should make good calcium supplements for pet reptiles.

Unfortunately I'm betting there are all sorts of laws and regulations making it very difficult to go about doing that.


P.S. Hey Cuttlefish, I think someone dumped some garbage on your blog.

Ctenotrish, Death's Ctenophore said...

Love it! I'd rather like to be freeze-dried to feed a tree (a la Stiff) but I'd happily settle for bear food. Seems wise. Better my corpse than a child, no?